The Connection

Tell me how can i relate these two realms together
Tell me the significance of merging these two
What i put into is about the heavenly realms
But to the world it bothers me not as much
Yet in fact they were one from the beginning
Still is and will be till the very end of time
Nope, they were never meant to be separated

So open my eyes Lord
To see earth and heaven as one
Your tears are for the broken
Your weeping for the lost
Your heart for the poor
Your love is all that they need
But, but.. I couldn't see it
I couldn't feel it

It is not about waking up
Listening to the world going worst each day
Yet still sitting there thinking
"Well, that's normal"
What does it mean to love?
How can i love a world that risks my life?
I, don't know..

Even if it is for a second
Let me see this world through Your eyes
Let me feel Your heartbeat for this world
Open my eyes to see what I would never have thought
And break the core of my heart for Your people
I need to know, the pains, the cries, the needs

I am far behind this fragmented planet
Not any better than the cruelty of this world
If i do not know how to love
You said it, to love, to go, to care
You desire Your children to walk in love
To shine Your light in this dark place

So teach me what it means to love
Give me the urge and compassion
Show me how love can change this world
For i don't want my life to go to waste
If i never loved, then i never really lived

I want to see, to feel and be part of...
The connection

Love motivates and makes the change

Blessed

Blessed, blessed beyond measure.......

Counting my days to the end of this year, i really dont have much time left. God, how amazing it is, how wonderful it is to be part of this family. I thank You so much for Your goodness to me and this group. Thank You for this bunch of SSC-ians that changed my life. The encouragements, the love, the craziness, the support, the late night talks, the interests we share together, the laughters, the tears, the joy, and every moments spent together....... Lord, how can i ever finish counting them?

I'm so touched, and i just can't express how thankful and glad that You brought me here, to experience life in a whole new angle and perspective with these great bunch of brothers and sisters. I will miss this warmth, it is You who brought us together, in Your sanctuary we grow together. Thank You Lord, for each and everyone of them. Bless them Lord, every single one of them. Hallelujah, to You be the glory forever and ever more..

Thank you all for being part of my life. Really appreciate and love every one of you.

Thank You too, Lord :)

Pray the right way

It was a long night, crying out to God for Him to hear me and speak to me. The first love that i lost, the passion that has quenched, the heart that stops beating for the true reason, unbearable, frustrated at the silence, i threw up everything to God. He had been silent, He had been far, i thought. After the break out, He led me to James chapter 4 and gave me a revelation.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? (v1)
We cannot bring our earthly desires with us while thinking of ministry at the same time. In another way, we can't serve two masters, either how, we need to let go of one. Our wrong persistence is what caused the fights and quarrels in us. Choose, therefore what is right and best for future investment.

"You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you asked with wrong motives, that you may spend what You get on your pleasures". (v2-3)
How many times have we realised that the way we prayed was wrong? Was it according to the will of God? Or was it for our own pleasures? It's so easy to yearn for the things we want and then neglect what is right. Matthew 6:33 says, "But SEEK FIRST his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well".

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you". (v7-8)
The devil has been playing tricks with us all the time. It is entirely up to us whether to get into his traps or turn him over and say, "no". We've got to see through his patterns of tricks, and uses to right weapon to shield ourselves from him. The word says, "flee from him" means not to be entertained by him and get ourselves into the hot soup. That's what he likes best, to get us into trouble. Understanding the word and praying the right prayer are the weapons that we need. We cant go to the Father if our hearts are together with the world, it requires us to leave everything and seek Him WITH our hearts.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will life you up". (v10)
Come in prayer with the attitude of humility. As it is written in the beatitudes, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth". Jesus showed great humility when he was still on earth and God lifted him up, and if he, the Lord showed humility, how much more should we humbled ourselves before our Father in heaven?

Today i was prompted again by the Holy Spirit to listen to a sermon by Ps. Kong Hee on Jabez Prayer. It's about prayer again.

However our prayers are meaningless if we do not have the heart to pray. What we need most is the spiritual hunger and thirst. It is the spiritual discipline that helps us to stay without going off track. In 1 Chronicles 4:9-10, Jabez was said as more honourable compared to his brothers. He was an ordinary man, but he did extraordinary things. He prayed and God granted his request. The secret is his spiritual hunger and thirst. It is also written that "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled". While we also need passion in our prayers, we need to learn to wait on God. Isaiah 40:31,"But those who WAIT on the Lord, shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint". Waiting is a part of prayer life.

Prayer is vital in every believer's life. Even Jesus, now sitting at the right hand of God, is interceeding for us in heaven.

耶和华，我的主

A new song prompted by the Holy Spirit as I worship the Lord:

耶和华，我的主
我献上我的一切，交给祢
耶和华，我的主
在祢宝座前与祢相遇
祢的宝血洗净我
耶和华，我的主
我展开心房，坦诚与祢诉说

我的主，我的主
祢知我一切所行
我渴慕祢的脸
我的主，我的主
我高举祢的名
代我罪的羔羊
Oh 我的主

On my knees shall i bow to worship You, my Lord

I will sing for all my days, forever and ever will You reign

Amen.

To live a life blindfolded

Sitting in front of the laptop with earphones plugged into my ears, fingers tapping the letters on the keyboard, i type with various emotions, feelings that is unexplainable.

Thinking about life itself is what i usually do. It's just so amazing how things fall into place at different levels and phases of life. It's basically something we cannot control. Though it's true that life is at our hands, it's up to us how we choose to explore it, but that's just temporary. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9" To think about it, we don't control our own life, we don't know how, and we can't. Sometimes, we don't see the reason or motivation behind the circumstances that we're in, just because we always want things to go our way, and when it doesn't, we get upset.

I am so pleased to know that my Creator stands before me, watching carefully every step that i take, holding my hand to guide me and sending aids and helps from everywhere to make sure i am always good. I love my home, i love the people He sent around me. It's too comfortable, too warm until i became reluctant and afraid to make the move. I compromise to stay in my comfort zone, because at least i know i am safe here. Even so, i am still conscious. I know i will have to leave, i know the home and people i love are not static and lasting. No matter how much i feel like staying, things will still move on. Life is indeed good, and if it is here on earth, it will be hundred times better at Home.

I guess it's time i should blindfold myself, and listen to the voice of my Shepherd, with faith taking my steps according to His will, not by sight, not by feelings anymore. With trust, i am secure to know that He will not lead me to danger nor to harmful places, but to the land He has prepared for me, there shall i rejoice in the name of Jesus. I look forward for more of Your blessings.

Now Father, blindfold me.

I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

~ Jeremiah 29:11 ~

Haha. Expectations :)

Father, You know everything in my heart
You know all my secrets inside
Even right now, i wanna share this to You
It's exciting, it's beautiful, it's wonderful
Because You made it the way it is
Waiting in expectations
I give You all my heart
Help me to keep it pure
Help me to keep it safe
Help me to keep it faithful
Help me to keep it sincere
Help me to keep it tight
Until You loosen it for me
When the right one comes
Thank You Lord
For creating love so beautifully :)

Be still, focus, trust and wait

confusions, doubts, choices, worries....
never stops tossing inside of me
never stops creating the conflicts
then it stops beating, something is wavering
it grew cold, unpassionate, frustrated
amidst the chaos, there is a stillness calling
so strong that it calms the storm
it is the voice of the Spirit
full of assurance and grace
i know i'm not reaching a dead end
i know He's working somewhere high above there
i look up and i see the most amazing thing
that is You smiling right back to me
that smile was enough to carry me through
...trusting You

This is what i put my faith on, Lord. I know You listen, I know You watch, I know You are there. I want to walk on the water like how Peter did, and setting my full focus on Jesus. I want to be like Daniel, brave and steady in the lions' den, knowing You are right beside me. I want to be like Moses, reaching an end yet knowing You will part a way for me. I want to see mountains being moved. I want to see miracles happen through faith. I want to follow and stand beside You, witnessing You turning the water into wine, magnifying the quantity of 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes into thousands, I want to see You turning the impossible situations around! I ask this faith from You Lord, like a daughter asking a gift from her father, and I receive it with great honor and thankfulness. What comes from You will eventually return to You. I receive it, use it and return You all the glory that belongs to You. Amen.

All about FAITH

faith is all about the unseen
it's closing both eyes while walking on the cliff
it takes a whole lot of trust to make it happen
nope, it will not be easy

faith is all about the heart
it's not from the outside, but the inside
it calms the battle of the mind
taking away all fears and anxieties

faith is all about steadfastness
while you take your steps and fix your eyes on Him
it brings you to where you belong
yup, it's full of challenges

faith is all about security
it's not gained, it can't be exchanged
it's a gift from our Father in Heaven
through this we have victory over the darkness

faith is all about letting go
it's not about controlling over the situation
but simply believing in Him to make things happen
and waiting patiently for His timing

faith is all about assurance
where you stand in a harsh situation
yet knowing things are turning out good
it's the key to unlock the treasure of gold

faith is not measured through feelings
it's a simple act of trust and only trust
it rises above the storms and hurricans
and makes you stand strong under them

faith is not small nor tiny
it is loud and aggressive inside
it is able to command a mountain to move
it is able to invade heaven onto earth

faith is the exact opposite of doubt
it is the stillness inside you
when you feel crumbled and lost
it's faith that sustains you through

and Faith comes from hearing the Word of God
it pleases our Father when we submit to it
it turns the impossible into possible
it brings honor and glory to the High Priest

faith is an ingredient you cannot miss in life!

The Treasure in Jars of Clay

I stand purely before You my Lord
Expressing all my weaknesses to You
Humbled by Your majesty
I bow down on my knees to worship You
You see me as who i am
Accepting me with all my flaws
Penetrate me with Your light
I want to see Your power
be manifested through my weaknesses
I want my weaknesses to bring You glory
I thank You for the flaws in me
So that Your name will be lifted high
And i will give You all the honor

By Your grace i am made strong
I will praise You in all my victories
I will praise You in all my failures
It is my honor to praise You Lord
No matter the outcome
May You be glorified
May You be exalted high
Let the world see Your greatness
As You express through Your power
Thank You Lord, thank You
I praise You for who You are
For You good all the time
And Your purpose is always good
Worthy is Your name
Worthy is Your name, O Lord

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 -- But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not  destroyed

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 -- But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefor i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, i delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when i am weak, then i am strong.

I may not be able, but my God is!

He always is.

Empty

Empty as it seems, empty as it feels
Makes the heart grow fonder for Your touch
The unfilled heart demotivates all things
It equates everything to nothing
The only source of joy is You
Your name carries the love I need
Wandering at the spot
Searching for a divine exchange
Waiting at the spot
For You to fill the dry cup
If i were to only ask for one thing
That is everything of You
I want Your fragrance to follow me
Your presence ever strongly surrounding me
When You open up the gates of heaven
Let the Holy Spirit rain down
And every slumbering spirit shall be touched
Every waiting heart shall be filled
Let the power of Your love
Renew what is Yours
On You, shall i wait

A Princess of God

do not lose hope in waiting for our Lord
for He is doing the refining works in you
to bring out the perfection of His glory
and beautify the heart of His chosen princess
in the waiting, trust in Him with all your heart
as He promised not to leave nor forsake you
for He knows the prefect timing

in all things, seek His kingdom
and do according to His righteousness
then He shall bless you
with the desires of your heart
ask the Lord and He shall give
for graciously He provide
and freely we receive

the love of our Abba is ever nourishing
there's no need for an exchange of this love
for it is there the very day you were on His mind
He is excited about the coming of His princess
His perfect love covers all imperfections
He thinks of you far more greater
than what you think about yourself
and He loves you just the way you are

commit to Him all that you are
no more fixing yourself before Him
but let Him fix your inner soul
then you shall flourish with joy
dance in the beauty of the Kingdom realm
overflowing with His fullness and His grace

walk with Him all of your days
and rest with Him at His throne
trust as you wait for He is never late
open your heart and eyes and ears
to receive to see and to hear
the loving words from our Father
because you are His beloved princess!


We are all God's little princess.. Delicately chosen to be with Him, refined in elegance and awe. A princess lives in a royal Kingdom. Our eternal home is that place full with the richness of His glory in the heavenly realm. Be that princess, of whom we are meant to be - a princess of virtue, patience, compassion, faith, purity, joy and love who reflects the character of her Father, the King of kings :)

Do not fall into the trap!

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. - 1 Peter 5:8

Since the enter of sins, the world is no more a perfect place. The enemy comes in disguise without our knowledge, in many forms - lies, condemnation, feelings of self-pity, jealousy, greed, anger, vengeance, discontentment, negative thoughts, etc. Sometimes it comes with fear and confusion, engulfing your own emotions, so much so that you feel overwhelmed, it then gives off a feeling of self-condemnation and slowly you found yourself plunging into darkness, and all ahead of you is just like a blackout. It blinds us and gets us into danger. So stay alert, at all times! So that you do not fall into the trap of the evil one.

If you ever ask, whether darkness exists or not, the answer is no. It is merely the absence of light. In John 8:12, Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” When we lose this light, we are in darkness. Therefore the bible clearly says "be alert", be alert to stay on par with the Righteous one and walk with Him, so that the devil will have no chance to devour you. Guard your heart, your mind, your body in Christ Jesus, for He is our Protector. In Him we have the victory, in Him there is light.

We need wisdom to discern and to expose the tricks of the evil one. So be wise to check your heart at all times, and not fall into temptation. However, when tempation comes, we are to call upon the Faithful one as it is written, "No temptation has seized you except for what is common to man. And God is faihful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13. Jesus told his disciples in John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." We are called to be sons and daughters of God, and if our Lord who has the victory is with us, who can stand against us?

God never fails what He has promised. Many times, we are tempted, we fell into the trap, we may even failed Him, but His grace is ever so sufficient for us, that anytine we confess our unrighteousness before Him and repent, He is ready to forgive and purify us. 1 John 1:9. This is evident enough when He gave His life on that cross to pay the cost of our sins, it is through the blood of the Lamb and the grace of God, that we the unrighteous are able to receive this forgiveness.

Now, instead of focusing on the wrongs that we did, lets shift our attention to the One who is worthy of our praise. We are not to feel condemned over the past, self-pity over certain situations, fearful over some things, because all these He has taken away, and in Him shall we find joy, peace and love. In this perfect love of His, all fears are driven out, everything is to come anew, because anyone who is in Christ is a new creation, the old has gone; the new has come. The grace of God gives us a transformed life, and by this we are to trample the devil under our feet! Never give way to his evil plans, but stay alert and be on guard at all times.

Lets be watchmen of God, with triumph in our hands, praises on our mouth, and spirit of God in us! =D

The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Romans 16:20  :)

Resubmitting to You

check your hearts
dont let it trouble you
check your emotions
dont let it tear you down
check your thoughts
dont let it consume you
check it not with your own eyes
check it not with your own emotions
check it not with your own thoughts
who gave you life?
who has given mankind
wisdom, feelings and freewill?
doesnt He who created your inmost being
knows everything single thought of yours
and every happening in your life?
why immerse yourself in unpleasantness?
why make things so complicated?
step out of the circle of confusion
to see things from a higher view
do not fall into temptation
and the devil's condemnation
just call upon Him and He shall deliver you


Lord, give me a mentality of Your Kingdom, let me see things through Your perspective, i want to capture Your heartbeat for Your people. No matter who they are, no matter what has happened, no matter how things are going to turn out, no matter anything, help me to put on love and seek Your Kingdom and Your righteousness. Search my heart and keep it pure so that it doesn't go astray. Hold me and never let me go. Lead me by Your spirit in every single step, and watch me through. Help me rise higher than my thoughts and emotions. Teach me what is important and help me set my focus on the urgent things and let not struggles or doubts or confusions or hardships or injustice or anything waver my faith and focus. And above all things, give me WISDOM. Amen.

I know that i am more than a conqueror through my Father who loves me!

At the cross, before all else

I fall desperately before Your throne
And enter into the Holy of Holies
At the cross i bow my knees, come and search my heart
Give me clean hands, give me pure heart
You know my ways, even when i fail You, i know You love me
I am nothing, so small like a grain of sand
It's Your grace that gives me life
Who am i that the Lord would care to know my name?
It is not because of who i am, nor is it anything that i have done
But because of who You are and what You've done
At the cross, i surrender all to You
My ways, my thoughts, my emotions, my everything
I commit them all to You, take charge of my life
May You reign above all, may Your name be exalted high
It is for You and Your glory that i am here
At the cross, where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
I need Your love, come and surround me with Your warmth
Humble me with Your love
Take away all the pride in me
And any form of insecurities
Embrace me with Your gentleness
As You wisper through the rain
Let me be broken before You
Come live in me, come breathe in me
All my life, take over

You and nothing else. He is here.

Walking back from pyramid and heard the clamours from a concert by "Beast"..and as i took a view of the concert from the canopy walk, i saw throngs of people, like a nest of ants from afar. They were shouting, screaming, and waving their hands to the stage.

What came to my mind was, "How much greater will it be if it were Jesus there, and all the people shouting and praising Him, so indulged that nothing seems more important than this". Wow. Wouldn't it be great?

As i was walking i was thinking and simply talking to Him. Then a realization just came and striked me. All of a sudden i felt empowered, enthusiastic, and filled with joy. I know there's more to this. Life is more than what we think it should be. Our life can be so meaningful if we live it with correct purpose. We can impact people if we follow and lead people into the truth, so that they might also feel and grasp the meaning of life just at the point when the Holy Spirit touches them.

Our God is an AMAZING God, more awesome than "amazing". He is CREATIVE in surprising us what He is going to show us. He is EVERYTHING one would ever wanted once they experienced Him. I would say the most addictive thing in this world would be, Jesus Christ.

It is a relationship. Relationship that lasts till eternity. When all else fall, His love remains. When everyone leaves, He remains faithful by our side. But sometimes we do not feel Him, because we do not seek Him enough. It is written, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart", Jeremiah 29:13. "With all your heart" not only means putting all that we have to seek, but also means with the right attitude and motive.

Remember, God is good and faithful. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. Often it is us that leave and forsake Him, not the other way round. We are overloaded with things to do, friends to accompany, events to attend till we are too tired to have time for God. It is us that let the presence of God slips through our life. Not that He's not here, rather it is us that weren't there to listen to Him when He speaks. But God is ever gracious to stand at the door, welcoming us back. Yes, He wants you back and still loves you, no matter how far you've drifted from Him.

Come back to Him and dwell peacefully in His gentle and comforting presence. He is here, whether you sense Him or not! He never breaks His promises. Just come back to Him and let His love grant you the peace you need. =)

I'm also confused

Thinking back now, my heart would still ache..tears would still flow...i know i have not been completely freed from the past. Well, no matter how hard i tried to let go, how hard i tried to forget; deep inside the pain still exists. But why? Masking myself from this is not the solution, telling it out could be worst? Because i dont like to tell, i can't tell, and i have no one to tell. But i know my Father understands, He knows how i feel. That is enough.

Well, i have been using my own strength too much. I have tried to settle things my own way. But it never works. Now is the time i turn back to You and simply listen to what You want to tell me. Since the day things started till now, i havent found the clue why things are the way they are.

I'm confused. Really confused. But for one thing i'm sure of is, i have to rely on You. Teach me to be still and listen to the voice of Truth. For only this truth can set me free, free from confusion, free from hurt.

What is it that You want me to learn out of this experience? What is the purpose? I need to know. Then teach me how to do things Your way. Because You're the chief, You know best!

I surrender my thoughts and everything to You. I wait on You to reveal Your ways to me. And i know, everything happens for a reason, a reason with divine purpose. In You i will trust! =)

Be still. Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

Yeah, my God. My God that knows everything!

You make all things work together for my good. Amen.

Refreshed in the presence of God =)

Hadn't have enough sleep the last two days. And this morning was the morning watch at 7am, which i had to wake up at around 6am, however i struggled with God the previous night whether i should go as i was really tired and needed more rest and more time to complete my assignment. My heart is wanting to join, but my flesh is struggling over this. So i prayed asking God to provide me the strength that i need and i believe He will provide, and i insisted that He speak to me today, that i MUST get/experience something from Him this day regardless anything. So i made up my mind, i'll go with the heart of wanting to experience Him (despite the tiredness)!

I woke up quite reluctantly, my body was attached to the bed, then i asked God to fight over my unwillingness to get out of bed. That wasn't easy, to be honest.

Bathed. Had myself dressed and ready to go.

Reached church and got myself prepared to enter into His presence. The "theme" of the morning watch this morning was mainly on love. Love for God, which i needed as well. In order that we can do anything for Him, we first need to experience His love and reflect that love back for Him. Being passionate and keep that love on fire for God is what i should carry on in my walk with the Lord, and that flame should grow more and more wildly as we are called to love the Lord with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind and with all our strength. And through the agape love from our Father, we are able to overcome any weakness that is in us, any fear that is hindering His love to reach our hearts. For nothing can seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:37-39).

After the morning watch i was totally refreshed, i felt His presence strengthening me. Then off we went for breakfast then to Salvation bookstore after that. I was happy to see books, and i wanted to buy. Not one, not two but quite a few. Hehe. One of the books that caught my eyes was "Say Yes to God: A call to courageous surrender" by Kay Warren. However i didn't manage to buy cause' i didn't have enough money =(, but i'll return one day for it. =)

Headed back to church and had intercession with other brothers and sisters in the afternoon. God again spoke to me, and i was really impressed. God gave me the verse from Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unseacrhable things you do not know". While praying God gave me a picture of a man surfing, but with something like a "headsail" thing attached to it. However the wave that the person was surfing on was small and unenthusiastic. Then He said to me, "Go higher". (When the wind blows, the headsail is responsible to capture the wind and make the yatch sail. Likewise, the headsail represents God's help to move our "yatch". People surf on huge waves, not small ones because bigger waves will bring us to greater heights. In the same way, God is saying that we shouldn't stop at where we are right now, we shouldn't be satisfied with what we are doing now, we shouldn't be contented with the small waves we are surfing on. It isn't enough, He wants us to go higher, to love Him more, to seek Him more and to move on to a greater extend where He will show us greater things. He wants us to rise to greater heights, to have a breakthrough in what we do for Him, yet not with our own strength, but with His help. And when the wave of God's grace comes, we shall soar up high together with Him. We need to grow. We need to pray for breakthrough in areas of our lives that are not growing for Him). After that a brother shared the same verse God has put in my heart, everything was in line. Amen! Amen!

God is good! I asked that He speaks to me and He did, but that wasn't all. He continued to stir my heart during the sermon. Brother Kian Wee shared on the title "Say YES to MISSION" (sounds familiar with the book i wanted to buy? =)) together with the verse from John 12:24-25 that says, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life". All of us are a seed, and a seed is powerful to touch and move lives. Seed itself, represents a life, our life. It depends how we are gonna plant the seed. But it is said, "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow". 1 Corinthians 3:6-7

Saying "yes" to God and mission will make a difference in a place where we are willing to go out of our comfort zones to plant the seed. We will see how God makes it grow just by saying "yes". It is not about us, what we can do, what we can't do, but it's all about God and what God can do through us. He works when we respond to His calling. Just a simple obedient act of faith is all we need to do, others should not be our worries and concerns, for it is the Lord that works and makes a change. So are you willing to say "yes"?

During sermon, i pictured myself and a few friends going out for mission (sort of a preparation for mission and evangelism), seeking God and together praying to see revival. I believe this is what God wants us to do. To go out and fulfill the great commission, to take the initiative and the step of faith to move forward, to do outreach for the expansion of His kingdom. Yes Lord, send me and i will go for You. Help me understand Your love and open my heart to receive Your mission for me with a willing heart. Grant me with the urgency and knowledge of the importance of this mission. Give me the faith and help me capture Your heartbeat to beat for Your people. Help me to dwell in Your words and promises as i long for more of You each day in my life. Teach me to love You like how You've loved me. Thank You, Father.

Amen! God is good. Throughout the whole day, God sustained me through the strength that He has given me, for His grace is enough, and His power is made perfect in weaknesses (i really felt energised the whole day). Other than that, God has also spoken to me a lot. Thank You Lord! Yes, ask and it will be given to You for our Lord is gracious! =D What a refreshing and fruitful day today!

I'm blessed, blessed to know You Lord, my Saviour and my God. =)

Stepping Up Together

Had church camp to Bukit Gambang, Kuantan during 10th to 12th June and water baptism on the 11th. The theme was "Stepping Up Together". Just one week before i agreed to go for water baptism, i fell sick. God somehow told me i will be sick, through a dream. The next day, i had fever and it continued for several days. My condition worsen a few days later, i had high fever with red spots and rashes on my skin. Then sisters from chruch brought me to the doctor to check if it was dengue. So i had my blood test done the next day and it wasnt dengue. Praise God! However, the rashes remained so the doctor suspected it could be some virus infection. But the sickness was left unknown. All i did was simply trusted God.

So on Friday, we headed to Kuantan. I was very excited because i was going for water baptism the next morning. The pastor briefed us about baptism and asked 3 questions before baptising us.

1. Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God?
2. Are you willing to follow Jesus for the rest of your life? (couldnt really remember, but i think it's something like that ><)
3. If it is needful, would you die for the sack of Jesus?

Then we had praise & worship and teaching. God's presence was strong! Later in the afternoon, we went splash splash splash! Had a great time at the water park =D. But my limbs were still dotted with red spots and rashes. But that didnt bother me much because i know Jesus is my ultimate Healer!

Night time we had praise & worship and teaching again. God really moved me, i could sense His presence so close to us. After that was photo taking session. Hehe..SSC wore rainbow colours. Rainbow, representing God's promise. =)

The next day we had the last session of praise & worship and teaching. During breakfast, a sister came to me and checked if i was alright. Then to most of our surprise, my rashes were gone, completely! Praise the Lord! He is just so great!

Throughout this camp, i encountered God and got to know more brothers and sisters. I believe, stepping up together as one in Christ is just what we need to do.

Lord, i thank You for those that You have sent to care for me while i was sick. Thank You for this camp that we can gather and step up together to praise Your name. Help us to continue to have this kind of spirit to unite for Your glory. Be with us and anoint us to move for You. Thank You.

God is good, all the time! Spiritual warfare should not stop us to war for God. =)

"Fear no more"

So the church leaders asked, "What is hindering you to serve Him?"

Paused. I thought for a while. Because of fear, i told myself silently.

Then God spoke to me, "Why are you afraid?"

I kept silent and went into my thoughts again. But this time i couldn't gave an answer, beacuse i cannot find any reason why i should fear, I gave my "reasons", but He ANSWERED ALL.

Then again I heard Him say, "Fear no more."

I know God was reassuring me that in Him there is no fear. Because He has overcome all fears. 1 John 4:4 says, "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who lives in you is greater than the one who is in the world." Followed by Paul in Romans 8:37, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."

So no more excuses, no more reasons whatsoever. He has it all under control.

Afraid to speak?
- "Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say" Exodus 4:12

Afraid or not knowing how to pray?
- "for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say." Luke 12:12
-"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the   Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26

Afraid how people may think of you? Fear of being alienated, persecuted?
- "Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later" Romans 8:18

Afraid that you are unable to do what God wants you to do?
-"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13

There is really no reason to fear. Fearing however, because the lack of faith and love. But God is gracious, He gave us faith through His words. "Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." Romans 10:17
And in love, there is no fear. For perfect love drives out fear. Therefore, love the Lord Your God with all your heart and with all Your soul and with all Your mind and with all Your strength. Mark 12:30

Hallelujah, glory to Him!

The Lord is my light and my salvation -

whom shall i fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life -

of whom shall i be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

For Your Glory

Running. I've always been running. Not running towards the goal, but away. But this time, i dont wanna run anymore. Lord, i dont wanna be like Jonah. It's tiring. No matter how far i've run, I cannot excape You and You'll eventually pull me back. God i'm certain that You have called me, i know it's time i should respond. I feel like i'm living a hypocritical life all these while, it's so easy to say, but so hard to put those words into action. God, i'm sorry for the constant escape when You call, i'm sorry for being such a timid person. I dont know what i have that i can do for You, but You never call on our ability but our availability and You are able to use our weaknesses for the great things just as long as we are willing.

I'm not good in speaking, not good in leading. But like Moses, You put words in His mouth and gave him the courage to speak Your words. In the same way O Lord, use me. I may not know how, but all that You ask is to put my trust in You and You'll guide me. I do not need to know how, I just need to be obedient to follow You. Lord, i dont want to escape anymore so send me, and i'll go for You though i may not know how, i know You wont leave me alone. Help me to rise up for Your glory, put dreams in me to live for You. Help me to have the step of faith to do Your will and no matter what happens i know You'll have my back. This life is short, i dont want to live a fruitless life. I know im here for a purpose, so use me for Your purpose. Just help me NOT to run away anymore Lord.

Change me to become the person You want me to be, give me a new life to live for You. I surrender all that i am to You for i am nothing without You as You said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

Lord i trust in You to see the change and transformation in this place, and in the lives of Your people. Continue to inpsire me and move me for Your works and help me to serve You faithfully and joyfully. May Your Holy Spirit continue to anoint me and guide me in my walk with You Father. Thank You Jesus. Amen.

Use me, for Your glory
"With God all things are possible"
Matthew 19:26

There's TOO MUCH to say!

Haven't been updating firstly because there's too much to say, so much that i dont know where to start. Secondly because my schedule was too tight to spare some time for this (Hehe I'm not sure if it's an excuse though xP).

I've been here for about two and a half months and during this brief period, i have seen how God has worked through in my life. From the want of changing the rooms, the smooth arrangement to go to church, the surprising result of my SPM, the not-very-big-amount of scholarship for AusMat, the unpredicted interview from JPA, the amazing flight back to Kuching for the interview, the Holy Spirit baptism at Cameron Highland, the goodnews from my mum that her sickness was minor, the desire to become His disciple, the urge to make a change for His glory, the courage to reframe a friendship, the faith I need to grow in Him, the breakthrough to speak out His words and so on, so on... I see His goodness in everything He has planned, i know His will and purpose are always good. He changes the bad to good according to His will. Thank You Lord for all these blessings...thank You.

I see a lot more challenges God has put in front of my path, and i know i'm not going through them all alone. I have the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit with me, so i shall not fear. It may not be easy, i may fail several times in this journey, but i know my God never fails. And in Him will i find my strength to carry on.

All glory and honour to Him, our one and only God!

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think its more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can!

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

God's Touch

So here, i attended my first youth service in KL. Excited, i have waited to join a church where i can worship God with other brothers and sisters. When i reached there, they were having a prayer meeting or sort of the like. Songs of Praises filled the hall...the feeling was just great. I, have not felt God's touch since i left for KL. But there, He's presence overwhelmed me, just meditating on the lyrics of the song, my eyes were watery as it really touched me. After that, they have an intercession moment. A sister prayed for me, undescibable, the words she uttered took its place in my heart deeply and unconsciously, tears began to filled my eyes again. I could sense God talking to me through that sister. And i experienced peace at that very instant. How great is our God, how amazing is He.
After that was the sermon. I felt that every word spoken there was God speaking to me, assuring me that He is with me, that He knows everything and has control over all things. Every word has its significance. Praise God! And then came the healing and restoration session. I must say that God is real and He heals! The stories in the Bible about how Jesus heals and performs miracles are not merely stories, though they were history. But still, Jesus is the present. He works and heals even today. The pastor called up those who had problems with their backbones or other sicknesses. And then the congregation gathered to pray for them. Miraculously and by faith, they were healed. Some of them had backbone deficiency due to the imbalance length of their lower limbs. Thus we prayed and witnessed God's power in healing their sicknesses. One of the brother shared that he felt God's restoration in him. And another sister testified that as we were praying for her, she felt a pull inside her right lower limb..which was God working in her. What a testimony. Amen!

I believe God has placed me in this place for a reason. And i trust Him that in these 8 months, a change is coming to fall upon. I don't what that will be, but i have a conviction in me that He is going to do something, something that is of great significance. And i'm anticipating that! Hallelujah! =D

Positivity vs Problem Solving

I opt for positivity as much as i could, i thought that would be the best choice to react to in faces of unpleasantness. But now, it doesnt seem to be the best solution for emotional healing. It doesnt solve problems. Have i been in such a critical stage that i doubted and lose faith in everything regarding to this, like practically everything? I cant deny the truth that im running away from problems by remaining positive. Yea, you heard it, running away. People might think that me being bright means im really a positive person, but sometimes it could be the other way round. Where did my faith went? Where is the hope? Why am i put in this situation? For others, this would not be a big deal, they could just put down everything and walk away...but why couldnt i? Did i get myself into the hot soup? Months ago, i would think that this is the right choice to do. But now, i cant be certain of that at all. I still dont think it's anyone's fault. Life just happens. But what do you want me to do now? What proof do you want me to show you? Aint i just doing what i was told to do? Or maybe it doesnt fit you in at all. Maybe i used the wrong way. But God tell me if im wrong, tell me so that i can correct it. Tell me if it's Your will. For in the beginning, im doing this for You. I just dont want to get off track. Help me please....and my friends.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
I may not see where the road is heading. This problem that im facing may not be what i have thought it to be. But You know it all...and thus im not getting in control of this anymore. Im putting my trust in You.

Our God never fails.

Unwelcomed phase

What is it now? Is this a new start? Is this what i have to face again? I dont know. I thought the moment I landed on this ground, the past has gone..i'm living a new life. But that doesn't seemed to be what i thought. Where can i express this time? How long can i endure this? How sure can i not be hurt? God, i have asked you countless times...and you gave me your peace just when i asked for it. But this time can i continue to stay that calm? What's gonna happen next? Is this gonna get far? I only wanted everything to be in it's place..but seems like everything has been expanded. I really dont know how i should handle this, uncertain if i cant stand any longer and I'm really tired. I cannot please everyone, like Jesus didnt get all the delights from the people. But I hope I am doing the right thing...that even if it doesnt pleases everyone, it pleases you. It's aching inside my heart but if this is your will, may it be done. I trust in you that you will never let your children carry the burdens that is over their limit. So is this that i place my hope in you.

You Lord, who has started the good plan in me will put an end when you are finished with me. Now that it's not done yet, help me to turn to you every time this pain stirred in me. Help me to believe you have allowed this for your purpose, that i will get the most out of every experience and at the end i will become a joyful person and be able to help other people out. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. Perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4" And it is declared by the Lord, "For i know the plans i have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future". So trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Also we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called to his purpose.

Take heart, God is not finished with me yet!

Everything will be alright, just hold on!

Breathe in...breathe out~

He is REAL

Thinking back the days when i was stressful vying for my SPM...and now sensing my parents' satisfaction, all the hard work was worth it. There was 3 reasons for the change of this result.

1. For the Glory of God
2. For making my parents proud
3. And a chance for me to believe nothing is impossible

God was gracious, He granted my wish which i doubted i could achieve. He proved He is real and reliable. He never fails. I take no credits for this other than giving Him all the glory..thank You Lord, thank You! Now i am really convinced that nothing is impossible with God.

Even before this, God has already proven to me that His promises are true and that placing my hope and trust in Him whenever i felt lost is never a wrong thing to do! I had never felt so alive when His presence and peace overwhelmed me...that made me joyful and praised Him during my most painful night. How amazing is He?

For blessed be name of the Lord, even though i walk through the wilderness blessed be Your name. Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise, when the darkness closes in Lord still i will say, blessed be Your glorious name, on the road marked with suffering. Though there's pain in the offering...blessed be Your name!

GOD.IS.REAL. =)

New Beginning

In just a split second..i'm here already. i'm where i have to be, not knowing that time passed by too quickly before i can even realise it. I still feel like it's so surreal, like i can wake up from my dream anytime and be back to my normal life like before, but no. People say i am a confident person, i can do well, i'm strong, i will do fine and be okay. but i doubt all the words thay have spoken. i know myself better, i'm weak in certain aspects and i am not anything they have said. weird enough, i dont find college that fun, maybe not at the moment -- probably not everything flowed as i wished it to be. it's really time to learn how to be self-reliant, independent,  adaptive, confident.... Oh and I lost appetite (used around one and a half hour to finish a meal), had (still having actually) sore throat..you can imagine how much i miss home right now.

Even at times i'm shakable due to some circumstances, but God i believe You have placed me here for a reason, a reason i have yet to discover. I clearly know that hardships are meant to mould me to become a better person and it's Your intention to let them happen. So God, help me to trust You and lean on You in times of difficulties. Strengthen my faith in You, so that i will not stray apart from Your laws. There's no other way except You, i know. Your promises are ever true and that gives me strength to carry on. Help me grow now..in this place i am and help me trust that at the end of all these, i am a better person. Amen.

I really miss EVERYTHING back home. But I NEED Your presence more.

Mindset

i don't know but life is a big circle
sometimes you're in sometimes you're out
sometimes you're just standing on the border line
it's true though, you can't fight with opportunities
some people throw in all they have for it
some people just get it without any hard work spent
call it unfairness call it injustice
but the world is just never on the fence
and no one ever bother to give a damn
even so you need not have to feel crushed
your mind is telling you what to do
but instead tell your mind what to do
consciousness is not exactly consciousness
what you see ain't really what it is
it's not about having or losing
you will have your part to do
everyone plays a different game
the hint is to play it with wisdom not emotion
and the aim is to be the light that shines
so that you lead people to your Goal
you choose what you think is best
you choose how you think about life
you either make yourself miserable
or you make your life meaningful
the undertaking to both takes the same effort
everything revolves based on your outlook


your thinking practically controls everything. so you wanna make a change, you have to first change your thinking and project it into an attitude.

Into the Realm of...

It has been a few days now and things didn't get any better. Every time i lied on the bed or the sofa trying to get some sleep I just couldn't. No matter how drowsy my eyes were or how tired my body was, my mind was just that reluctant to shut down and I even saw flashes flying by. The cause for this in one word should be - future. Have you ever got haunted by the unknown future you are going to venture into? That was very much how i felt.


This is how my new year started, somehow in fear and insecurity of the unknown. Although how much I convinced myself that God will make a way but still, maybe you call it human nature or whatever, i still freak a little at the thought of it - alright maybe quite a lot. This is one big step to take. What if I took the wrong path? What if I later found out that this is not what I intended? I was being reminded that these aren't the right thoughts to have, these shouldn't be my focus. It's not about what I want to do. It's not about where I should go. IT'S WHAT GOD WANTS ME TO DO, WHERE HE WANTS ME TO GO. Yea..true enough and of how little faith I am.

Now, about leaving, I never had a clear idea of that and how it'd be. To me, it's probably just a verb. But when I'm near to that, I could actually hear my consciousness speaking, "I don't wanna leave." However, leaving, in my dictionary equates to that of independence. This I must admit and it's what i really want to grab hold of. So conclusion is that I still have to leave, whether I like it or not. To where? That's the question.

I guess this is one of my very desperate moments. I'm quite an indecisive person so having to make choices? It'd take me longer than long to actually make up my mind or I'd just point to someone else for the answer. But this time is different, my turn to face up and do what I should do. No more escaping.

So hello world, I hope to see you soon but I wish I don't see you that soon.
Huh?
Ahh...forget it.

    You have brought me through many ups and downs and I trust that You'll lead and guide me through this as well. Reveal Your ways and plans for me Lord, for it's not my will but Yours be done.

Before you do ANYTHING, you need permission from GOD. That way, you'll be sure you're on the right track and much likely not to go wrong.