Kisses for 2012

I am totally amazed how fast a year had just gone by, and 2013 has just jumped in my face with an unexpected hello!

2012 has been a GREAT, AMAZING, and AWESOME year! It is impossible to write out all of 2012 in mere words, but I must definitely say God has been so faithful! When God had told me that 2012 would be a year of healing and transformation, I didn't understand until the year was approaching to its end. It really is an amazing story to tell of a creative and brilliant Author of my life. You nail the words "healing and transformation" alright! My life had never been more adventurous than that. There were many cross-roads to stand-by, and many choices to be made. It's a year of growth and many first-times.

I could link it from a dream of prophecy to a land of bareness, then to a deep valley, and finally to a flowing river. There were many days and nights drenched in tears. There were more than countless emotion-evoking incidents that challenged me right in the core. Disappointments and discouragements were all over the place. But though as it is, my God had never left me. It's a year of many testings and trials. I started from nowhere, in fear and doubts to a place of rest and peace; and from all those testings came a Truth I would not have discovered and digested if the sea of trials had not overwhelmed me. It's a year of trust and faith.

There was like a chain of past strangling me from moving forward, and keeping me in fears for the many years. But there was a dream that broke all the feelings of inferiority and comforts came from the naked Word. It's a year of victory and breakthrough. It was hard to take in new perspectives and new ways of thinking where the old would not feed on, so my ego had to surrender to welcome the new and the right. The former views of things I thought I already knew was then again challenged. It's a year of unlearning and relearning. And nevertheless, it's a year of blessings and favor to relearn about the finished work of Christ on the cross, that, changed everything.

So all in all, 2012 was a year of:

• Growth and many first-times 
• Testings and trials
• Trust and faith
• Victory and breakthrough
• Unlearning and relearning
• Blessings and favor

...and all these sum up the header of the year... "HEALING AND TRANSFORMATION".

Healing of past and emotional hurts, and transformation of new mindsets and perspectives of life.

Discover the undiscovered

One life. Many moments.

Every stage of life we walk, we discover more, we learn more. And that goes on and on....

It's a matter of discovering it early or late, with some experiences we will reach that point of maturation.

One life can touch many lives. A heartbeat can make a miracle. A breath can make a difference. And how many heartbeats and breaths do we have?

What do we think about ourselves? What is our value?

I discovered I can do more, more than I think I could. Not by my own strength, but by the ability and strength so graciously given. Not limited by boundaries, there's so much we can accomplish, so much we can establish.

Holding on to that faith knowing that when we fail and fall, there is support, there is grace, there is strength. What could possibly be too hard? If God is for us, who can be against us?

For only one reason would I stretch myself for something more. Only one. I just wanna push myself a little further, because I am so strongly convicted that I can do everything through him who gives me strength.



God, hear the longings of my heart, listen to the depths of it. This is my desire to serve You. I ask You to transform me in and out, through ups and downs, through high mountains and deep valleys. I know it is easy to say, but I don't want to just say empty talks. I know my choice will not be an easy journey, I know there will be hard testings, for there is a price to follow You. But even so, I pray that You will strengthen and give me the faith to trust and take up the cross. When my heart grows cold, warm it with Your love. When my eyes become blinded, unfold it with Your perfect grace. When my ears are not listening to You, speak through the clouds with Your gentle voice. When my paths are not straight, lead me by Your righteous hand. When the days are dark, light them with Your glory. When I'm drowning in the sea of doubts, assure me with Your promise. When I can see the road ahead, be my faith to take the step. When my flesh is weak, strengthen me like never before. When my spirit is tired, refill me with Your joy. I declare that my past, fears and pains shall not hinder me to move forward and serve You fully. I declare that my weaknesses will be a testimony of Your grace. I pray for courage and confidence to stand so firmly in You. I have only one life, and I don't wanna waste it. There are so much I know You have enabled me to do. Jesus, be the center of my life, my thinking and in everything I do. I want my life to honor You. Humble me so I may lift up Jesus and not myself. For all glory be to You, Jesus. Amen.

Jesus, You are my reason.

Numb

Went to the dentist today! My first time, well sort of, other than the time I went while I was really young in which I have forgotten. I was only told that the visit was horrible! My parents said that I was being scolded badly by the dentist for crying because I was scared, and all I did was cry even harder. Yea, which kid wouldn't? Being fearful of the "scary man behind the mask" and worst, got scolded for that! That Mr. dentist must have been awfully fierce. But those were not recorded in my memory which is actually good as well. All I knew until today is that I don't dare to go to the dentist! Yet if it wasn't because of the cavity in my little tooth, there probably wouldn't be a chance for me to take that courage and visit one.

As I laid on the dental chair this morning, there was a peace and calm feeling that hovered over me, much to the opposite of what I would expect. And I saw Jesus standing right there in front of me smiling and saying, "Don't worry, It's going to be okay. I'll wait and be here with you through the whole process." Of course, I didn't see Him physically but spiritually. That was what made my heart settled in overwhelming peace. I don't know why the song "Beautiful Savior" started playing in my mind while the dentist reached out his hand and equipment into my mouth, but it's just so soothing. I'm glad He appeared although I'm just there to pluck a tooth off. He's still there for comfort. And it gives me more faith to trust in Him more in this as well as other situations. I'm only going for a dental surgery and He's there for me, what more to say when I'm going through big times?

The visit wasn't that bad after all. Though I still wished the other dentist had helped to pluck my tooth off, and not the one who attended to me cause' I heard the other one is better. Haha! Now I'm typing this while having a cotton stuffed into my mouth to ease the bleeding. I can still feel the numbness of the narcotic treatment, not only in my mouth but I think half of my head. You can guess that it's not comfortable. The doctor also provided paracetamol to kill the pain if it strikes after the numbness - which is what I dreaded most! But oh wells, it'll be alright, just as Jesus said. :)

He's like the numb that stops my pain, taking all to Himself so that I can be shielded!

At times when we feel we cannot do certain things because of self-quoted inadequacies or fears, Jesus will always be by our side helping and walking us through those moments. And when we feel we really had to give up, He appears and gives us a lift of strength, courage and peace to carry on. With God, all things are possible!

Jesus..my Comforter, my Prince of peace in whom my heart will trust!

Gotta grow

At times I do feel like I'm growing, older and hopefully more matured. To learn to appreciate people around me, to learn to take the initiative to approach people, to learn to offer help, to learn to serve, and learn to watch my own actions and behavior (not all times, but just recently..haha girls must learn this!). Time must have pressured me to all these realizations. But there are plenty more to these.

There are still limitations I have to breakthrough, comfort zones to step out of, fears to break off, and courage to chase after. As age increases and as time passes, priorities will alter, perspectives will change, characters will be moulded, wisdom will increase, attitude and thinking will be different. It's all a process of life, and I'm glad we all will go through stages like these.

I really wish to grow more, in wisdom, understanding, character, thinking, attitude... so that at least in times of need, I could offer help a little, to change circumstances around and to enhance relationships. And yes I'm utterly grateful because the Holy Spirit in me is able to help me accomplish all these. Praise the Lord! We've got to prepare ourselves for the harvests.

Thank You Holy Spirit, may You move and work through me just as You will.

Never say "no" to learning.

SPEAK! Gotta SAY it out!

For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. (Mark 11:23-24, NKJV)

Notice that verse 23 mentioned "say" for three times, and once for "pray" in verse 24. We've got to speak, say, prophesy to our mountains, problems or situations after we pray. Praying is one thing, speaking is another. We are operating in faith when we speak, because our proclamations have power. Words have power. When God said, "Let there be light," light came into existence. He spoke the universe and all creations into being. That's the power of spoken words (proclamation). And Jesus said, when we speak with faith, it will be as we said. Faith has to be the essence of our words as well. "To speak or say" is an action word. And in James 2:17 it is written, "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." We see that these two go hand in hand together, and become powerful when rightly used.

Let us speak to any mountain that is hindering or stumbling us towards the goal which has been set before us, with faith, we shall see the rewards and results of the promise of God!

If and only if...

If I have the money

If I have the resources

If I have the ability

If I have the creativity

If I have the.....

...there would be many wild dreams! There would be many smiley faces, and happy hearts. Oh, just if...

There's too many ifs to make dreams come true... But oh wells, I'm still thankful and happy with life! Teehee.. ><

"IF!"

When expectations come

People come to you in many forms of doubts and questions, expecting you to give an answer. Is this familiar? Like Joseph and Daniel who were able to interpret all kinds of dreams. People call for them for a solution because they know the Spirit of God was with them. Now that the same Spirit also lives in us and we are expected to have the power when the Holy Spirit came upon us. When God's favor is with us we can be sure that things will do well according to His will.

"In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom." Daniel 1:20

Yeah! Be like Daniel! :D

More...desire...

Dear God,

It's indeed true, it's gotten more and more interesting reading Your words, great encouragement and amazement. I pray for more desire, love, discipline, respect, revelations, and insights for Your words; understandings and revelations like Joseph and Daniel have had. This is for the fulfillment of the assignment You have for me. I ask and I will be given, thank You Lord. :)

I will not stop

Lord, I have given You my life and You take care of everything going though in my life. In tough times, during sleepless nights I want to put my simple faith in You. I may not know why I'm going through this season, but I believe You will make something good out of it, because You never fail! I will not stop serving during the dry times, I just ask of Your Spirit to refill and refresh me. I will not withdraw, I just ask of Your presence to renew me as I seek Your face. I just simply wanna trust You Lord, that's it. Just strengthen me, I know the journey is long. I know I need You, so don't hide Your face from me. Thank You, Jesus, the name above all names; the King above all kings; my Provider, my Healer...it's Your name I call upon. Release Your power over me. Amen/

Shut up Satan! My God is GREATER!!! Ha!

His supernatural strength in such a time as this

40 is one of the significant numbers in the Bible. A number of probation, trial and testing. Elijah had 40 days of "trial" when he fled to Horeb, to the mountain of God, where God would then appear to him. God had well planned for his journey. First, He sent an angel to touch and wake him while he was asleep and prepared the food and drink for him. Elijah must have been weary so after eating he laid down and slept again. The angel of the Lord came the second time and offer him the same for him. The angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." As Elijah took the food, he was strengthened and traveled for 40 days and nights until he reached Horeb. 

It wasn't the end there. God did not appear to him right away. He had to stood strong in faith while he challenged the testing of a great and powerful wind, earthquake and fire. God weren't there, until a gentle whisper came where God would appear to him. 

His faith allowed him to stood the challenges while waiting for the Lord in times of such difficulties. In moments like this, God has promised his supernatural strength for us to overcome the trials. As He did for Elijah, He will do the same for us as well. Just come in obedience before Him and stand strong in faith! We will see great reward after that. Time of testings and trials are destined to come, but take heart, for we are more than conquerors through Christ who loves us!

I can do everything through him who gives me STRENGTH!

Philippians 4:13

Jacob wrestled with God

It was night, and Jacob was left alone. There he wrestled with God - the whole night, till daybreak. It must have been tiring, it must have been frustrating for not being able to rest. Worn out, stressed and burdened by the day. He has preparations to make, missions to accomplish, people and possessions to take care of. Now, he's meeting an end of not knowing what'll come next. He struggled and won; but that meant he struggled and lost. Who can overpower God, if God did not make the decision to let go? 

Jacob demanded the blessings after the struggle he had with God when he said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." He knew he was talking to God, and he knew the only winner is God and hence blessings have to come from God Himself. 

Jacob's persistence was soon rewarded and his name was changed to Israel as God blessed him.

As this came to pass, it was a new day. The sun rose above Israel and he began to start the days with God's blessings upon him.

* * * * *

How many times have you wrestled with God through the night? Did God not know that you're restless when you struggled with Him? Yet He still does so, because after the wrestle comes a blessing! You choose whether to walk away in the face of struggles or come to God in persistence and let Him bless you.

Just enough

Praise the Lord for He is our provider and strength! He knows us so well that He has planned how to rescue us in times of our needs. He reveals and gives just enough to carry us through those moments! Amen.

Hallelujah! Thank You for Elijah! =D


But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9

When you think you're too weak to carry on...

Hold on, stay strong, be faithful! You're almost there!

"I'm your only source of strength, you can't handle on your own, you've got to rely on my strength to bring you through. I'm the God who sustained Elijah, and I too will sustain you. Put your hope and trust in Me. Come now, and walk with Me."

The LORD will guide you always; 

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like a spring whose water never fail.

- Isaiah 58:11-

Army of God

 

Soldiers are ever ready to battle when a war breaks out. They are confident, bold, equipped and completely prepared. And we are called to be armies of God, and as armies we have the spirit of warrior is in us, for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline! So be ready to go into the battlefield and war! Skills are sharpened, amor is equipped, enemy is defeated only when you are on that field.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the power of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand on your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the devil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:11-18

Put on the full amor of God at all times, stay alert, be ready to fight and win!

Don't forget to do daily training as well!

Small comes first, big comes last

Don't look down on small things, they are the crucial start to bigger things
Don't look down on the lowest, they are the highest before you can know
Don't look down on the unnoticeable, they play a big part for your success
Don't look down on the insignificant, they are the sustain of your tomorrows
Don't look down on the unseen, they are the power that keeps you moving on
Don't look down on the little things that come by you, they can brush up your day

From a cell to a tissue; from a tissue to an organ; from an organ to a system; from a system to a complete body; and because of a body, there comes life.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Tim 4:12

And the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty. 1 Cor 12: 23

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin... Zech 4:10

Everything starts SMALL!

Go back to zero to become a hero

Have you seen Jesus smile?

"Jesus, when are you most happy?"

"I am most happy when I see you smile in joy, and that just warms my heart."

Jesus cares very much for you, and He just wants you to be happy.

Jesus loves you with all His heart and with everything He could offer.
He loves you so much that He died to save your life!

That's how much you mean to Him.

Take heart, it's a process

Don't get too fed up when you can't see the results immediately
It takes a little time for things to settle down
And for new change to come about

Don't get too discouraged when you meet with a failure or two
It takes a little more confidence to stand right up again
And fight to see the victory banner on the other side

Don't get too upset when you can't get past the pain
It takes a little time for the heart to smile again
And the joy to be restored thoroughly

Don't get too frustrated when you still find yourself stuck in the roundabout
It takes a little time for you to completely get out of that circle

Don't get too tied up when you still can't feel the relief
It takes a little time for the scar to be lightened

Don't get too carried away when you lose heart for a good cause
It takes a little while for the passion to be reignited again

Don't get too gloomy when you can't seem to see the light in the dark
It takes a little while for the daybreak to come at dawn

Don't get too disheartened when you can't seem to get out the trap of the rain
It takes a little while for the rainbow to be painted in the bright clouds

Don't get too impatient when you can't breakthrough the hard times
It takes just a little while before you can effectively handle things perfectly

Don't get too distressed when you feel you don't have the faith to take challenge
It takes just a little more courage to face and bring the task on

Don't get too rushed when you still can't talk right in the face of forgiveness
Because forgiveness is a process, it takes time for things to be right again

Nothing happens overnight, it's all a process and a matter of time
You'll get through it soon, don't lose heart!

Simple.

Why are you complicating yourself when you aren't
Why are you making things hard when it's just so simple
Why are you degrading yourself when you have the potentials
Why are you manipulating the words when it doesn't bring any harm
Why are you concluding the actions of others when you haven't know the truth
Why are you finding it tough and unapproachable when the grab is just in front of you

Why can't you read and take the words positively
Why can't you live like what the Words say you are
Why can't you put in more confidence and step out anew
Why can't you just live like the simple ones even if they are poor
Why can't you see the unseen and live for the future

For it is more blessed to live simply
More blessed to give than to receive
More blessed to serve than to be served
More blessed to stand for others than for ourselves.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,

   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are those who mourn,

   for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

   for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

   for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,

   for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

   for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

   for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

The Beatitudes, Matthew 5:1-10

Just a little I can give

I may not have the most outstanding personality
I may not have the best characters
I may not have the warmest smile
I may not have all the agreements
I may not have a lot of company
I may not have a lot of money
I may not be the brightest
But I just want to bless
Even as little as I can give
I just wish to replace the emptiness
To exchange the hurt for a little joy
I just want to be there

How much time have you got?

I remind myself to grab hold of every opportunity I have
To do the real business, to make a smile and to touch a heart
Whenever I'm available, and whenever I have the ability
My time is like the sand in the hourglass
Every second paints a little reluctance
How much time have I got now
It's been wasting away a little more than I know
Out of my understanding
Yet I could have controlled it well
Just that all the way till the end
I hope there won't be any regrets


"You're racing with time!"

The joy of the Lord

Weeping may last for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning!

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Psalm of David; 30.

Get up and continue

Whatever it is that you're praying, just don't stop. Never stop!

The Lord will be your strength...

The Quality Time

God, let's make a promise.
Let's meet everyday, no matter what. :)

                                                                                                                                        Signed ,

   

  Abigail  

Just P.U.S.H.!

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, the devil decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's weary mind "You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it." This gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. "Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that will be good enough." And that is what he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

"Lord" he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me, with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?

Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done. I, my friend, will now move the rock."

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in Him.... By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves the mountains. You just P.U.S.H.!

When everything seems to go wrong,... P.U.S.H.!

When the job gets you down,... P.U.S.H.!

When people don't react the way you think they should,... P.U.S.H.!

When your money is short and the bills are due,... P.U.S.H.!

When you want to curse them out for whatever the reason,... P.U.S.H.!

When people just don't understand you,... P.U.S.H.!

P.U.S.H. = Pray Until Something Happens!

Existing for?

Existing for the hurt, abandoned, ill, sick, abused, unwanted, broken, mistreated, depressed, lost, unloved, oppressed, unspeakable, non-freed, crying ones!

This song has really rang and woke me up to see the bitterness of those who could not even express for themselves.


Sometimes, I do think that we're really too selfish living for ourselves, I'm admitting I'm one as well. The world has more than to just live for our own dreams, pleasures, desires. There's million suffering outside the little window of mine, but why just can't I see it? Why can't I just lend a hand when they needed it most? Is it too hard? Was it because their outcry hasn't reached me? Or am I just closing one eye towards them and playing ignorant, bearing to see things continuing like this?! What a shame.

Who am I? What have I done to help these people? Nothing.

I can't help but to think when we're sleeping cozily in our beds, where would they be? On the cold, wet streets? We have lights during our nights, but they could be spending their day in darkness and fear! We receive smiles and love from others, they were forced to receive spats, injustice, cruelty from others! We complain about our foods, yet they take in all our wastes like precious feasts! We grumble over dirty floors, yet they are more than satisfied to sleep on it! We are cherished like princesses, they are treated like an useless commodity!

What is the world showing all these while? Fake sympathy? Dying compassion?! Just for show?!! No, God.. I don't want that, I don't want myself to become like that as well! Because we're not of the world, we're just in the world.

LORD!!!!! Teach me to learn from Jesus. Humble me to relate with them. Unveil my eyes to see the cries of the broken ones! I'm truly sorry for living too selfishly for my own. I'm really not existing for myself, I should in fact exist for them Lord. For Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve; Jesus did not come for the righteous, but the sinners; Jesus came not to receive but to give; Jesus came to set the captives and oppressed free; Jesus came to seek and save the lost; Jesus came so that others may be blessed through Him. And be this also Your will to be done in my life Lord! Give me compassion to love!!

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach the good  news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD'S favor, and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair..". Isaiah 61: 1-3

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15

Rise up, wake up, people of justice! 

YOU have a part to play!

What are you living for?
You can be someone else's blessing.

谦卑

无畏的自大，只为了虚伪的荣耀
虚假的智慧，破碎了完整的情感
丑陋的高傲，在安全感上插了刀
拐了的自信，只让畏惧得了胜棋
一瞬间，意义全化为枉然的谎言
我不需要什么特别才能
也不需要什么聪明智慧
更不需要硬撑而来的安慰
我只需要那简单道理
在生命之上保住谦逊
神呀，求你赐下你的怜悯
聆听我那心中轻声的祷告
我愿低下我生命
来换取你的赞许
主求你来破碎我的骄傲
除去我心中自大的痕迹
使我清醒谦卑跟随你
主啊，求你谦卑我心
进入我生命，拿去我面具
让我真实与你相遇
求主楝净我心，使我更像你
求悦纳我心，我谦卑呼求你
我需要谦卑
求主使我谦卑。。。

I miss You

I miss You, very much...

The more I seek You,
the more I find You;
the more I find You,
the more I love You
I wanna sit at Your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay back against You and breathe,
feel Your heartbeat
This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace,
it's overwhelming...

I've never been to this extent, missing You so much. Although I know You're just beside me, yet my heart still wants more. I can never get enough of Your presence. It's really everything I want, everything I need.

Hah~ it's just so nice to be with You, the feeling is just so right :)

Awakened, enthralled by Your words

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!!!!

I just can't help but to shout that out. If you have had personal experiences with God you will definitely agree with me. 

Well, just yesterday I had another long conversation with Him..this time was about reading the Word of God (WOG). I kinda had some rubbing with Him about going back to His words - the Bible, not that I didn't like to but there were some questions in my mind that were seeking for answers. Reading the WOG was one of the very clear thing He had spoken and reminded me for days. I guess it was urgent. But there were just some things I couldn't understand why. I did what He told me to do; flipped the Bible, started on Genesis. Yes, I received new insights that I never had before. But as a few days gone by, I slowly grew tired of continuing. Well, frankly speaking, most people would think it's boring. I did too. I felt demotivated to continue as I don't seem to grasp the meaning and significance of some passages, and I stopped. 

But as soon as that happened, I was reminded of eating spiritual food once again. As our physical body can't go without food, the same goes with our spiritual body. The moment I planned to stop eating spiritual food, I felt weak, literally. My mind became easily distracted towards thoughts that are confusing and convicting. I felt burdened, fatigued and weakened both spiritually and physically. I knew then that I needed to recharge my spirit. So I went back to my room and talked to God, sincerely, honestly. I told Him my struggles regarding reading the scriptures and so. I also prayed that He will teach me face-to-face and one-on-one how to study His words. And guess what? He did! He never fails to amaze me.

He brought me to scriptures that I thought was irrelevant to me and the modern days, and He taught me how they could apply to my life and current situation! Indeed, there's meaning in every passage that still speaks to us today! Wow, I'm really enthralled. Not only so, He revealed me how the Word is the source of my everyday living, I can never live without it. Exactly, as I do the thinking, everything that I do involves the scriptures. How can I possibly live without it? We believe in God because of the Word, the church exists because of the Word, prayer meetings, lifegroups, fellowships are held simply because of the Word. Lives are transformed, miracles happen, healings come to pass...all because of the Word. And even simply understanding the Word comes from the Word itself! Woah..

And I do know, the Word gives power and faith to those who seek it; for it is written, faith comes from hearing the Word of God. For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirits, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

God changed my perspective regarding His words. After understanding the whys and so, things started to became clearer and simple. Oh yes, you could even guess it by now, I was totally refreshed and recharged after that. Felt more alive than ever!

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16

Once you understand, you just got to love It! ;)

More Than Just A Dash

19 years ago, before I could breathe and see the world, I was on my Creator's mind and He designed with His very fingers many wonderful things way ahead of me. He gave me life, and the fact that I'm still alive today is because of His grace. And what a rejoicing thing to hear that I have another great year to experience this amazing grace of His! Well, life is short; that is however an upsetting fact to know as I grew older. But to come and understand this, I'm thankful for each day that I have and the people I love being still around me. Life is just a short dash between the moment I was born to the day I return Home. And it is in between this dash will I have to ask myself, how much I can accomplish, how much I can make life itself more meaningful. And adding to the account of this life that is not my own...I want it to be more than just a simple dash, I want it to be a channel for God's blessings to flow through, a channel for His salvation to reach towards others, a channel for His will to be done on earth, a channel for His love to touch through, a channel for His light to shine through... Since He gave me an assignment to stay a little while on this planet, I will have to take the integrity to reach the purpose He placed me here. I do not live for my own, but for my God, my Creator, my Savior, the El Shaddai who lives forever and ever.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Galatians 2:20

Love of a Family

Many times I couldn't understand why family members should quarrel over little things. It just mess up the mood in everyone and drastically tear down the peaceful atmosphere. I personally went through many of these and as things continue to go this way, I've soon gotten immuned about it, and my perspective towards family and love had since been distorted. Terrible. Utterly terrible.

Yes, I won't deny that every family will get into quarrels and fights from time to time - it's normal! After all, we're still imperfect and different beings, we have our own opinions, characters and feelings. So there was one point of time in my life where I would sealed up myself from the love of others, be it my family, friends, or anyone. I was brought up without really being felt loved, though my parents do love me of course, I just can't feel it, the reason because I literally shut myself out from feeling loved. It seemed to me at that time that love was surreal, fake and unreliable, I was afraid that love will disappoint and thus comes the rejection. Stupid, you may think, but I believe it's true in many other lives today. It was probably because of the shadows of what I was brought upon by others while I was still young. Shadows of anger, dislike, unfairness, fear and disappointments. Slowly they turned into hurts which I didn't realized. Those were the lies I lived with for more than half of my life. I didn't blame anyone and I won't. I believe they have their own hurts to deal with as well and for my part, I can only pray for the emotional healing.

It is an amazing story of how God revealed me the pains and hurts of my long ago past. I used to live my whole life without knowing I had so much hurts, and that I never knew I rejected love of any kind. That was also why I did not truly express myself, my feelings to others, and it's also why I was an introvert at young, I didn't like people and I turned down any invitations of parties from my friends and so. It really got me a long time to walk out of this. And God is obviously doing the restoring works of what true love is. Restoring the right perspective of His love for me, family relationships, friendships, BGR etc. I guess Satan is active in destroying relationships through disputes and strong disagreements, breaking trust and love for one another in and out of a relationship, and we see divorce cases mounting up at such a shocking rate, teenagers running away from home, engaging with drugs and premarital sex, criminal offenses covering all over the news etc. Aren't all these results of a broken family? The devil sure has a big foothold in many marriages today! And that is what we need to fight against! 

God created us to be His family. A family comes from God, and this family is not only biological families, but spiritual families as well. The Bible talks about marriage in the first book as well as in the last. From the beginning to the end, I'm sure it matters very much to Him about marriage and family. I know God is still working, and He is doing a restoration and transformation work in my family. He's healed me from the hurts and pains of my past, and I can open up to love and to receive love. I'm proud to say that I love my family and I know very much that they love me too. I am convicted that God is bridging the gap between our family members and building a strong love relationship with each other. That is because He loves His families, He loves us. And He desires all families and marriages to be complete, restored and enhanced that it will produce a warm and loving family to shine and become examples to other households. That is His will. Love is absolutely not what Hollywood preaches. Love is God and  God is love. 

If you're facing love issues of any kind, why not come to Him with your hurts and let His love melt and wash away all the pains and struggles? There's always hope, there's always blessings when we let Him take charge. With God all things are possible!

Adding to this post a superb movie called, "Courageous" is a movie that relates to God's idea of a family. It really touches me deeply to think and apply the ideal love in and out of my family. It's really a great movie that I'm doing a promoting act here. Hehe, must watch!

"But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD!"

Joshua 24:15

Obedience and Discipline

So there's just too much to mention how much God is working in the lives of many, including mine. And there will be many many more testimonies, life-changing stories, miraculous signs, God's unending grace and goodness that I'm going to testify and experience. But before I can meet up with that, I've got one big mission to accomplish, that is none other than what the title tells - to obey His words and discipline myself. It may seem easy but it's surely not. However, as God is a gracious God, He gave me 6 months to work on that.

Sometimes when the going gets tedious, I'll just stop and question why I'll have to do what He wants me to do, it looks somewhat boring, unexciting and kinda dull, but He always gently tells me to press on and persevere, the end result will be more than what I can expect. And that He will never fail me to see the things He has promised me to happen. It should be an utterly wonderful privilege to walk in His will and to partner with Him in the big projects. He absolutely deserves my heart, time and effort in the preparation for the good things that are to come. Well I guess even all the sweats and true efforts combined are still incomparable for the many blessings He has favored me. I'm clear that I certainly have nothing to complain and push about.

Yet, to be truthful, it really needs extraordinary faithfulness and commitment to breakthrough the many barriers of exhaustion, tiredness, lassitude, boredom, unwillingness etc. But based on the promise of God, I know I can overcome all these because He has already given me the strength to do so. Though undoubtedly there will be pains and struggles here and there, I am comforted by the truth that His mercies are new for me every morning! By the end of the training, I know will be able to put on the armor of God confidently and live victoriously.

Lord Jesus, thank You for choosing me, thank You for disciplining me because of love. Thank You for this opportunity and training ground You prepare for me. Thank You for Your perfect plans. Thank You for the pains I have to go through because I know I'm going to grow though them. Thank You for giving me Your promise and power that I will overcome all things. Thank You for always being by my side and never forsaking me in my disappointments and the times that I failed and hurt You. Thank You for Your great love that nothing can separate this love for me. And thank You for giving the best for me. I'm grateful. Thank You :)

♥ JESUS LOVES ME!!! ♥

THIS I KNOW  ;D

Somewhere

Should I be somewhere
Somewhere far from familiarity
Somewhere where serenity fills
Somewhere in the nature
Somewhere with only You and me
There will I meet You face to face
There will I have a divine exchange
There will I rest my soul
There will I start the new
There, it's there should I be