I miss You

I miss You, very much...

The more I seek You,
the more I find You;
the more I find You,
the more I love You
I wanna sit at Your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay back against You and breathe,
feel Your heartbeat
This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace,
it's overwhelming...

I've never been to this extent, missing You so much. Although I know You're just beside me, yet my heart still wants more. I can never get enough of Your presence. It's really everything I want, everything I need.

Hah~ it's just so nice to be with You, the feeling is just so right :)

Awakened, enthralled by Your words

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!!!!

I just can't help but to shout that out. If you have had personal experiences with God you will definitely agree with me. 

Well, just yesterday I had another long conversation with Him..this time was about reading the Word of God (WOG). I kinda had some rubbing with Him about going back to His words - the Bible, not that I didn't like to but there were some questions in my mind that were seeking for answers. Reading the WOG was one of the very clear thing He had spoken and reminded me for days. I guess it was urgent. But there were just some things I couldn't understand why. I did what He told me to do; flipped the Bible, started on Genesis. Yes, I received new insights that I never had before. But as a few days gone by, I slowly grew tired of continuing. Well, frankly speaking, most people would think it's boring. I did too. I felt demotivated to continue as I don't seem to grasp the meaning and significance of some passages, and I stopped. 

But as soon as that happened, I was reminded of eating spiritual food once again. As our physical body can't go without food, the same goes with our spiritual body. The moment I planned to stop eating spiritual food, I felt weak, literally. My mind became easily distracted towards thoughts that are confusing and convicting. I felt burdened, fatigued and weakened both spiritually and physically. I knew then that I needed to recharge my spirit. So I went back to my room and talked to God, sincerely, honestly. I told Him my struggles regarding reading the scriptures and so. I also prayed that He will teach me face-to-face and one-on-one how to study His words. And guess what? He did! He never fails to amaze me.

He brought me to scriptures that I thought was irrelevant to me and the modern days, and He taught me how they could apply to my life and current situation! Indeed, there's meaning in every passage that still speaks to us today! Wow, I'm really enthralled. Not only so, He revealed me how the Word is the source of my everyday living, I can never live without it. Exactly, as I do the thinking, everything that I do involves the scriptures. How can I possibly live without it? We believe in God because of the Word, the church exists because of the Word, prayer meetings, lifegroups, fellowships are held simply because of the Word. Lives are transformed, miracles happen, healings come to pass...all because of the Word. And even simply understanding the Word comes from the Word itself! Woah..

And I do know, the Word gives power and faith to those who seek it; for it is written, faith comes from hearing the Word of God. For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirits, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

God changed my perspective regarding His words. After understanding the whys and so, things started to became clearer and simple. Oh yes, you could even guess it by now, I was totally refreshed and recharged after that. Felt more alive than ever!

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16

Once you understand, you just got to love It! ;)

More Than Just A Dash

19 years ago, before I could breathe and see the world, I was on my Creator's mind and He designed with His very fingers many wonderful things way ahead of me. He gave me life, and the fact that I'm still alive today is because of His grace. And what a rejoicing thing to hear that I have another great year to experience this amazing grace of His! Well, life is short; that is however an upsetting fact to know as I grew older. But to come and understand this, I'm thankful for each day that I have and the people I love being still around me. Life is just a short dash between the moment I was born to the day I return Home. And it is in between this dash will I have to ask myself, how much I can accomplish, how much I can make life itself more meaningful. And adding to the account of this life that is not my own...I want it to be more than just a simple dash, I want it to be a channel for God's blessings to flow through, a channel for His salvation to reach towards others, a channel for His will to be done on earth, a channel for His love to touch through, a channel for His light to shine through... Since He gave me an assignment to stay a little while on this planet, I will have to take the integrity to reach the purpose He placed me here. I do not live for my own, but for my God, my Creator, my Savior, the El Shaddai who lives forever and ever.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Galatians 2:20

Love of a Family

Many times I couldn't understand why family members should quarrel over little things. It just mess up the mood in everyone and drastically tear down the peaceful atmosphere. I personally went through many of these and as things continue to go this way, I've soon gotten immuned about it, and my perspective towards family and love had since been distorted. Terrible. Utterly terrible.

Yes, I won't deny that every family will get into quarrels and fights from time to time - it's normal! After all, we're still imperfect and different beings, we have our own opinions, characters and feelings. So there was one point of time in my life where I would sealed up myself from the love of others, be it my family, friends, or anyone. I was brought up without really being felt loved, though my parents do love me of course, I just can't feel it, the reason because I literally shut myself out from feeling loved. It seemed to me at that time that love was surreal, fake and unreliable, I was afraid that love will disappoint and thus comes the rejection. Stupid, you may think, but I believe it's true in many other lives today. It was probably because of the shadows of what I was brought upon by others while I was still young. Shadows of anger, dislike, unfairness, fear and disappointments. Slowly they turned into hurts which I didn't realized. Those were the lies I lived with for more than half of my life. I didn't blame anyone and I won't. I believe they have their own hurts to deal with as well and for my part, I can only pray for the emotional healing.

It is an amazing story of how God revealed me the pains and hurts of my long ago past. I used to live my whole life without knowing I had so much hurts, and that I never knew I rejected love of any kind. That was also why I did not truly express myself, my feelings to others, and it's also why I was an introvert at young, I didn't like people and I turned down any invitations of parties from my friends and so. It really got me a long time to walk out of this. And God is obviously doing the restoring works of what true love is. Restoring the right perspective of His love for me, family relationships, friendships, BGR etc. I guess Satan is active in destroying relationships through disputes and strong disagreements, breaking trust and love for one another in and out of a relationship, and we see divorce cases mounting up at such a shocking rate, teenagers running away from home, engaging with drugs and premarital sex, criminal offenses covering all over the news etc. Aren't all these results of a broken family? The devil sure has a big foothold in many marriages today! And that is what we need to fight against! 

God created us to be His family. A family comes from God, and this family is not only biological families, but spiritual families as well. The Bible talks about marriage in the first book as well as in the last. From the beginning to the end, I'm sure it matters very much to Him about marriage and family. I know God is still working, and He is doing a restoration and transformation work in my family. He's healed me from the hurts and pains of my past, and I can open up to love and to receive love. I'm proud to say that I love my family and I know very much that they love me too. I am convicted that God is bridging the gap between our family members and building a strong love relationship with each other. That is because He loves His families, He loves us. And He desires all families and marriages to be complete, restored and enhanced that it will produce a warm and loving family to shine and become examples to other households. That is His will. Love is absolutely not what Hollywood preaches. Love is God and  God is love. 

If you're facing love issues of any kind, why not come to Him with your hurts and let His love melt and wash away all the pains and struggles? There's always hope, there's always blessings when we let Him take charge. With God all things are possible!

Adding to this post a superb movie called, "Courageous" is a movie that relates to God's idea of a family. It really touches me deeply to think and apply the ideal love in and out of my family. It's really a great movie that I'm doing a promoting act here. Hehe, must watch!

"But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD!"

Joshua 24:15

Obedience and Discipline

So there's just too much to mention how much God is working in the lives of many, including mine. And there will be many many more testimonies, life-changing stories, miraculous signs, God's unending grace and goodness that I'm going to testify and experience. But before I can meet up with that, I've got one big mission to accomplish, that is none other than what the title tells - to obey His words and discipline myself. It may seem easy but it's surely not. However, as God is a gracious God, He gave me 6 months to work on that.

Sometimes when the going gets tedious, I'll just stop and question why I'll have to do what He wants me to do, it looks somewhat boring, unexciting and kinda dull, but He always gently tells me to press on and persevere, the end result will be more than what I can expect. And that He will never fail me to see the things He has promised me to happen. It should be an utterly wonderful privilege to walk in His will and to partner with Him in the big projects. He absolutely deserves my heart, time and effort in the preparation for the good things that are to come. Well I guess even all the sweats and true efforts combined are still incomparable for the many blessings He has favored me. I'm clear that I certainly have nothing to complain and push about.

Yet, to be truthful, it really needs extraordinary faithfulness and commitment to breakthrough the many barriers of exhaustion, tiredness, lassitude, boredom, unwillingness etc. But based on the promise of God, I know I can overcome all these because He has already given me the strength to do so. Though undoubtedly there will be pains and struggles here and there, I am comforted by the truth that His mercies are new for me every morning! By the end of the training, I know will be able to put on the armor of God confidently and live victoriously.

Lord Jesus, thank You for choosing me, thank You for disciplining me because of love. Thank You for this opportunity and training ground You prepare for me. Thank You for Your perfect plans. Thank You for the pains I have to go through because I know I'm going to grow though them. Thank You for giving me Your promise and power that I will overcome all things. Thank You for always being by my side and never forsaking me in my disappointments and the times that I failed and hurt You. Thank You for Your great love that nothing can separate this love for me. And thank You for giving the best for me. I'm grateful. Thank You :)

♥ JESUS LOVES ME!!! ♥

THIS I KNOW  ;D